So I know I've waited way too long to update some of this, however, it has been a crazy last few weeks! I'm at 38 and a half weeks of pregnancy, and she could come anytime (we're more than ready for her, hehe). I'll post more about what's been happening around here some other time, but for now (and at the risk of offending everyone) I decided to post the two "plans" that have come together for us. The first is our actual birth plan. We are just so thrilled and privileged to be able to experience this birth at home and have it our way, and with some AWESOME attendants! While there is some personal stuff in it, I feel it's important to think about and a lot of my friends didn't even know some of these were options, so I thought I'd preserve that here. I'm also posting the initial core parenting values that Justin and I have agreed upon and put together. The weeks and months of research that I put into these topics have really helped with some of these difficult decisions, and I'm finding that as I approach the adventure of birth and entering the era in my life of motherhood that my confidence is growing and my fear is lessening- something I'm relieved about! I hope you enjoy!!
Jennifer and Kyra’s Birth Wishes
Birth Attendents:
Justin
Mom (Pam)
Stephanie (sister)
Stacey (Doula)
Cori (Midwife)
Environment: Dimmed lights/ candles, quiet voices, my birth music, aromatherapy
Pain Relief Techniques I want to use:
-Breathing techniques (breath WITH me- don’t TELL me to breath)
-Distraction (taking a walk, eating, sleeping/ resting)
-Relaxation (massage and touch (everywhere except my legs), slow breathing, guided visualization, visual imagery (waves, candle)
-Vocal- singing, moaning
-Aromatherapy
-Temp.- hot shower, birth tub, rice packs, maybe ice?
-Movement- walking, constantly changing positions, standing, rocking, hugging someone and rocking, slow dancing, pelvic tilts/ rocks, rhythmical movements (dancing?), birth ball use
-TOUCH- (light and hard and all these types)
Kissing (Justin, lol), acupressure, firm belly stroking, gentle touch, massage (both light and heavy), stroking, pressure
Ultimately, I want…
-to be able to move as I need to
-to feel uninhibited in the noises I make
-for my door to always be closed
First Stage:- Probably accomplished with most of you not here yet. Justin and I plan to go for sushi in this stage, and to get out and walk a lot (maybe mall). I don’t want to feel like a watched pot. I may want to be completely alone as well. Probably won’t need many, if any, comfort techniques.
Second Stage: Will work through comfort techniques as I need them. Need help staying hydrated (and keeping glucose levels up with light food and/or honey). Will probably want someone with me at all times. NO distractions (cell phones- even vibrate bothers me). Positions for this: squatting, hands and knees, on toilet, standing
Transition: more of above. I like Justin telling me when the contraction is half over, so if you can, wear a watch with a second hand!
Delivery: I plan on Justin and I being in the birth pool for delivery. I want to touch Kyra’s head as she crowns. Justin will catch, or I will. Kyra will immediately be skin-to-skin with me (still quiet and dark in room). Eventually, (10-15 minutes usually) placenta will be delivered. It will be saved for encapsulation the next day, so placed in Tupperware in the ‘fridge. After cord stops pulsing Justin will cut it.
After delivery: Cori (our midwife) will eventually check out Kyra (I think after Kyra is o.k. on my chest she helps us into bed, and Justin and Kyra and I have an hour completely alone to bond and rest). Then Kyra gets weighed (no shots or anything) and checked over. I’ll need to eat something healthy and light and rest.
IF I NEED TRANSPORT:
I would like you to accompany me, should the need arise and you feel comfortable. I will be including a cesarean birth plan just in case, to give the doctor.
Stephanie will be taking pictures of the birth. I’m sure that everyone else will want to spell off for rest, food and such.
I do NOT want to be told to “relax” or “breathe”. I LIKE the words:
Limp, loose, light, cool, floating, soft, calm, free, comfy, cozy, harmony, balance
I’ll be printing out some guided visualization for someone to read to me.
Our Core Parenting Values:
To raise happy and healthy children by making the best choices we can with the current information we’ve found based on research. To develop lasting, positive relationships in our family. To encourage an environment of positive action and choices based on continual learning.
Specific Actions:
-Birth- As naturally as possible. Reducing medication exposure as well as improving familial bonding and connection and experiencing a positive birth experience.
-Breastfeeding- EXCLUSIVELY! We will breastfeed exclusively until solid foods are introduced around 6 months. This will include breastfeeding on cues and demand (not on a schedule, but when baby is hungry). NO FORMULA is to be given at ANY time!! In the event Jennifer cannot breastfeed (i.e.- death) a milkbank will be used. We will also breastfeed until the CHILD is ready to wean- which is usually between 3-4 years.
-Cloth Diapering- To reduce chemical exposure and skin irritations cloth diapers will be used along with cloth wipes. The new systems are easy (and cute) and have a huge impact on budget as well as the environment.
-No/ Limited Vaccinations- At this time we have decided NOT to vaccinate. We may initiate a delayed schedule with certain (limited) vaccines in the future. This includes newborn eyedrops, vit.k and antibiotics.
-Babywearing/ Co-sleeping- We will be practicing several methods of babywearing including the sling and babycarriers. This will be done while out of the house but also at home, so our babies can remain close to us for bonding and intellectual development (among other benefits). To help in this bonding, reduce SIDS and assist with breastfeeding we will also be co-sleeping with our babies sleeping in bed with us or in a bed pushed next to us.
-We want to promote gender-neutral identities in our children. To that end we are o.k. with and encouraging play that specifically mixes gender- i.e.- our girl(s) playing with trucks, cars, etc., and our boy(s) playing house, dress-up, etc. This also applies to colors of clothing. In addition, we want to reduce the “princess” ideology for girls, and the “non-emotional” ideology for boys.
-We don’t believe corporal punishment encourages positive, future relationships or teaches lessons other than fear, lack of trust and avoidance. And if this should change, NO ONE will be allowed to administer corporal punishment to our children except Jennifer and Justin.
-Praise- Praise of effort will be what we strive for in raising our children, as this gives them a controllable action to change. In addition, we want to limit praise based on emotion without controllable qualities. For example- We will praise: effort and hard work in cleaning rooms, dressing nicely, working on a paper or subject, etc. We will LIMIT praise such as “You’re so smart, you’re so pretty” which are NOT effort-based but inherent qualities.
-We believe that if a child is old enough to ask certain questions, then they should get an (age-appropriate) answer. So if a child asks why the sky is blue, or WHY certain things happen then they should get an answer they can understand.
-Healthy Food- Healthy food contributes to healthy brain and motor development. We will limit junk foods in our house, provide healthy snacks (focusing on protein, fruits, veggies, nuts and cheeses among others) and have NO fast food or soda in our house or while out.
-We believe vocabulary is a powerful and educational part of learning. We will not limit our children’s use of vocabulary (i.e.- “cuss” words) although we will explain appropriate use of “adult” words and when they can be used (at home).
-We believe that children are very impressionable, especially in the formative first 10 years. To that extent we will be introducing them to the non-mystical belief system that we adhere to and we will severely limit their exposure to anyone discussing or practicing religion around them. (ex- not being exposed to dinner prayers, “god bless’s”, and other mystical practices within reason).
